Dear Meghan ‘06,
Do you remember two years ago, in 4th grade, when
you had an obsession with leading the line? Every day, you would try to finish
your work fifteen minutes early so you could clean up and stand by the door and
wait for people to line up behind you. The teacher punished you, in the end,
and made you the official line ender. Of course, you never accepted the job—you
cut past the rest of the students and walked at the front of the line. I roll
my eyes when I think about all the time I spent and wasted waiting at the door
just to lead the line. Sadly, this childish behavior sparked an unfortunate
trend and inspired an obsession which still afflicts me today. Admittedly, I
tend to compete when it comes to academics. In my defense, in what other area
can I compete? My fifth grade art teacher gave me my first C as I glued “sloppily”,
so goodbye art! I dry-heave on mile runs, so I have eliminated athletics. So, I
focus my time and energy on my coursework and checking off elements of the
mental list of awards competitive academics “should” win. And now, after four years
of high school, I have achieved much of what I have wanted to achieve, but I
still feel unfulfilled. Maybe I feel this way because I have transformed myself
into an antisocial workaholic. Maybe I feel this way because the brief glory of an award fades.
Or maybe I have lost sight of myself. Whenever I see someone who has won awards or
has scored well on a test, I strive to achieve what that person did. Unfortunately,
in the process of trying to mimic another, I lose sight of myself and devalue
my own accomplishments. So, Meghan, remember throughout middle school and high school that you have your own talents
which will, in time, bring you success. Do not let this desire for success define
you and hold you back from forming new friendships and enjoying life. Do not,
as you did in 4th grade, waste away in front of the door for fifteen
minutes just to fulfill your desire to lead the line. Spend a little more time
on the homework. Study a bit more. Read. Even talk to friends. In time, the
teacher will instruct you to clean up and stand at the door. She will turn to
you and call you over and ask you to lead the line to the library. Your time
has come. Lead that line thirty feet down the hallway with pride.
Best,
Meghan ‘13
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| If you're not the lead dog, the view is always the same. |
Meghan, I enjoyed reading your anecdote of always wanting to lead the line. Although, the accomplishment of leading the line proved a token of success to you in 4th grade, I know that you have many greater successes ahead of you. However, never lose sight of your small achievements along the way, because they make you the person you have become.
ReplyDeleteHaving been your friend for the past five or so years, I can honstly tell you you are not an ntisocial workahoic... Somtimes. Though, like you, I have also yerned to pilot a line of peers, now I opt to lead a different sort of line entirely my own, one which I can dictate and control. I have seen you come into your own and know that you definitely guide your own way. Be proud of that!
ReplyDeleteMeghan, I have to say I clearly remember those days in fourth grade at Laurel; specifically, the day that I got assigned to the then prestigious position of line leader and you cut me. I will admit, I got pretty angry at the time and I think I might have told on you... sorry about that. Anyway, I laugh at myself now for wanting and getting so upset over something as trivial as walking first in line. I also laugh because only this morning, in contrast, the drumline quarreled over who had to walk down the hallway first in the clap out, since none of use wanted to.
ReplyDeleteMeghan, I would have to agree with Libby that your success and determination does not necessarily make you an anti-social workaholic. You strive for what you succeed in and do very well in that. Your leading mentality will definitely serve you well in the future. Also, I pity Melanie for losing her spot as line leader and find her story hilarious.
ReplyDelete